Naya Saal Magar kya NAyii soch??! - the sad and empty beginning of 2020

har saal ki trah saal  kay akhir dinon mein sab log apne purane saal kbare mein sochte hain baatein karte hain. aur yeh taeh karte hain k agel saal mein kya karna hai kya achieve karna hai khud ko kese badalna hai waghera waghera. kuch logon ko achi yaadein ek acha sahar de jati hain aur kuch logon ko bura. har sal ki trah hum yahi ehad karte hain ab ki yeh acha karenge abki baar woh acha karenge lekin aisi koi cheez hoti hi nahi. aap log soch rahe honge k kyoun nahi hoi. sirf ek tum hi nahi ho jiski nahi hoti humari to hoti hai. itna negative kyoun sochti ho?!
lekin kabhi koi yeh nahi sochta ya kehta k shayed yeh meri wjha se pareshan hai ya meri wjha se is k din bure hue hain. log khud ko bohut bachte hain aur kehte hain jo hua tumhari wjha se hua hum ne kya kiya. kabhi kabhi insaan ek pal khusyon k liye taras jata hai to kahi kabhi insaan ko ghum mein rehne ki itnie dat ho jati hai k us k paas se agagr khush chali bhi jaye to phir bhi use koi parvah nahi hoti woh use pakarne ki zara bhi himmat nahi karta. aur ese hi uska saal bhi guzar jata hai.

mere liye yeh baat samjhana bohut mushkil cheez hai. mein humesha se hi istrah ki fazool baatein likhti ayi hun. aur humesha se logon ne mujhe fazool hi kaha hai. ajeeb log hai is dunya k bhi. kisi ko khushi k pas nahi de sakte lekin kam se kam kisi ka dukh to na bnao.

lo baat kya ho rahi thi aur kahan nikal gayi. wapis ate hain. naya saal nayi soch ya purani soch. naye dost ya wohi purane dost nayi khushya ya wohi purane gham. dar lagta hai ab to ... such keh rahi hun dar lagne laga hai. k kahin gham bura na mana jaye k tum aaj khud kyoun ho. kyoun tumne khus rehne k bare mein socha kyoun tumne. tumhari yeh majaal?? tum kyon naye saal mein khush rehne lagi?! tum muskurati kyoun ho?! tumhari yeh mjal. rahogi tum esi haur mein tumhe barbad karta chaa jaungi. tum akeli par jaogi humesha k liye. is saal bhi aur aney wale salon mein bhi...


jab rat kay bara baje they ne to mein khurki kay samne khari thi. meri ammi bhi agayi aur aur husmsafr ghar par nahi tha. mein asmaan ko dekh rahi thi kya rangeen mahaul bana hua tha. sab khus they ek se barh kar ek patakha phut rahe they. lekin mere dil mein ek bhi khushi ka laddu nahi phuta. unki call ayi aur unki awaz mein bhi ek udasi thi. mein bhi khush nahi thi. meine socha kya yeh ane wala saal mere liye phir dukhon se bhara hoga?! kya mein zindagi mein kabhi khush nahi reh paungi?!
kayi saalon bas ek hi gham hai mere dil mein k koi apna hota koi hath thamne wala hota. jinhe apna kaha woh to bas. kya mein sari umar isi soch mein guzar dungi?! kya mein kabhi thik nahi hongi??! khair aaj 2020 ka 5van din hai ek pal bhi mujhe khushi ka nahi mila. na mein muskurayi na meine kisi khushi ka izhar kiya. bimar hun... dmaghi mareez ban gayi hun. han woh yahi kehte hain. lekin kabhi kisi ne yeh nahi pucha kay k kyoun aisa karti ho kyoun aisa sochti ho?! aur jab koi puch le to mein jwab deti hun jab tum to bachpan se dimaghi mareez ho tumhe to bachpan se depression hai. tum to humesha se esi ho wesi ho.
to kya mein humesha esi rahungi?! ...

tum btao

ese hoti hai mere naye saal ki shuruwat...